Can I borrow a secret?

I have this weird feeling, like something is going to turn my life completely upside down and I'm waiting for it. I'm standing on the edge of a cliff waiting for the wind to knock me off and I'm either going to fly or hit the ground. I feel like it will probably be the flying part, but you never know, lol. I have good intuition, and I feel like I'm holding my breath for something, but I can't put my finger on what it is. Do you ever feel that way?

And here's another journal entry. I think this one was, what was the world like before sewing and after sewing. Don't ya love the leaf people?


I have a secret...I had a boyfriend I dated for four years, we started dating when I was almost 16 yrs old. Anyway, I, in my teenage stupidity, was convinced he was "the one". He was the sweetest guy, he would do anything for me, sent me flowers, yada, yada, yada....Well he ended up being a total shit, I had a curfew, and he was 3 years older then me, so after he dropped me off, he'd hit the clubs and bars screwing god knows what. This came out after I went to college and he decided to confess. We were at my apartment and my roommate was not home. Then he came over to me like he was going to kiss or hug me, and he wrapped his hands around my neck and whispered to me with the freakiest look on his face and said "You know, I could kill you right now if I wanted to." Needless to say the proverbial shit hit the fan, and I threw him out of my apartment. He called me apologizing, I changed my number, he called my parents begging to talk to me, blah, blah, blah, but I moved on.

Anyway, I digress...back to my secret, I've always wondered what happened to him - did he end up in jail for killing a girlfriend, was he murdered in a satanic ritual -you know, the normal stuff you wonder about exes. Well I googled him about a month or so ago, and I found his wife's blog. Eeek! So he seems to have become a decent human being, married after they dated for like 6 freakin' years - geez who waits that long, but they can't have kids I gather from reading her blog, he likes to drink beer and watch those reality cop shows. I've always wanted to post a comment, but after having my own husband's girlfriend actually stalk me and him both(this will be another post completely), I've decided just to not say anything.