A plastic bottle and a...cow??

I feel the need to share my giggle for the day:

I think this is the best review of a song I've ever seen:

"...if I had a plastic bottle and a cow I could make better music."
From a user for the freebie single at iTunes

ROFLMAO - I think I snorted some koolaid up my nose when I read that, and I still can't quit laughing. And after having listened to it, I have to agree, ROFL. I think the main lyrics of the song are "Do Ya'"

Ghosts and YouTube

So my children are creeped out about my daughter's bedroom. She's been fighting me for years not to sleep in her bedroom at night. She says it's scary, and I have to admit I have a pretty good intuition and when I lay down with her to get her to sleep, the hair on the back of my neck stands on end and it feels like someone is watching you. And then tonight, my night owl 2 yr old, just came to me and told me to turn the light on in his sister's room because there were two "scary mans" in there, hiding under the floor. Now I'm spooked, lol.

And now onto a completely different topic:

Of incidental note, I was checking out YouTube and came across this Blink 182 video, and then I had to go buy some of their music on iTunes just now, I need to make another CD for the car, Em is sick of my current one, lol.
Blink 182 - Miss You

And I found that John Mayer song that I like:
John Mayer - Stop this Train

ABCs and Hairspray the musical

This cute little thing said, "Mommy, listen to my ABCs song." Usually his version is "T U V, now sing with me!". But tonight at dinner he sang the entire song from "A" to "sing with me". WTHeck? My little man is a character -- he's 2 yrs old and peppers his conversations with "Argh, me hardies," he loves "spicy t'ings" and is constantly asking to watch "scary mans TV shows" -- not sure what that is.

On another note, this Fiskars journal thing is hard, lol. Me, the queen of perfectionism, is amazed at what the creative women do in these journals. I'm feeling slightly intimidated.


Em is auditioning for the school talent show tomorrow. She signed up, but changed her mind and didn't want to do it, but she suddenly changed her mind again yesterday and is now doing it. She's doing her Dance Showteam Finale from Hairspray - here's a link - You Can't Stop the Beat -the finale. . The talent show is next week, I'm going to film it and see if I can put it on here. For only being 7 yrs old, she is amazing, by Feb she will have about 8 to 10 dances to perform for competitions. As her twirling teacher says, "she has a fan kick that most 16 yr olds would die for."

Wow!! I was chosen for Fiskars Stories

Have you seen these Fiskar's stories? They send these journals out to people on crafting - scrapping, gardening, sewing, etc, and you answer their questions in the journal and send it in. And you get paid to do it too! LOL Anyway, I am just excited to do it.

Oh and you know my crazy fantasy a few posts down, the one that shows what a freakin' crazy person I am? Well I haven't completely decided if I'm going to eventually act on it. These long weeks away from Mr H have made me realize how much I like being alone with my own independence. We'll see how it is when he returns in a few weeks. Oops, I've switched topics, lol.

Anyway, what I was going to say was, I've decided I'm going to turn my idea into a novel. I've already filled up an entire spiral notebook on scenes and notes for the book. I'm so excited! And I'm so addicted to it, I finally made myself stop writing and go to bed at 4:30 AM this morning, and then I overslept the alarm and Em was late for school on picture day - whoops! I've always wanted to be a writer, but never had any motivation of a story, but I love this story I'm writing. Once I get it into more of a book form, I'll post some excerpts.

Fun with YouTube

Dontcha just love YouTube? I like to surf the videos over there. Some of my faves are:

Chad Vader Day Shift Manager - this one has ongoing episodes. He is the lesser known little brother of Darth Vader.

The Life & Death of a Pumpkin - Very Halloweenie - done by the same guys who do Chad Vader.

And the videos I get my giggles from, are these strange Japanese workout videos that teach English as well as have you do very strange workouts/dances:

I Got Rubbed by Tuna Men - towards the end of the video, they teach you to say "I got robbed by two men," but it sounds like I got rubbed by Tuna Men. I don't quite understand why the second robber looks like a retardo with his doo-rag ass backwards. Gotta love that music...."I got rubbed by twooooo men" "I got rubbed by twooooo men".

Enjoy!

So....a little birthday update

My husband actually called twice to see how my birthday was going (insert confused look here). I really need some smilies to put my funny little emotions to this blog. How it's going? I've had exactly 1 hr and 45 minutes of sleep in the last 36 hours, the 45 minutes was during the time I should have been working today, but I essentially passed out at the keyboard (which incidentally can make some bizarre free association typing appear when you wake up).

Anyway I always hope he does something special, like send me flowers or something. I guess I'm the eternal optimist because he never has before.

Like the year I became a mother, 1999, (don't you men just love that we remember this kinda crap, lol) my daughter was 4 weeks old at my birthday and he gave me a gardening book. I'm sure you're thinking, what is so bad about a gardening book? Well let's just say of all the interests I have, and there are many, gardening is so far down the list, it didn't make the list of the Top 500. I have allergies to pretty much anything that grows outside and is green, so the chance of my gardening is about the same as my owning a cat (and I am pretty much what would you call anaphylatic around cats). I am affectionately known as the "black thumb" in my family, among other things, lol.

So I've gotten pretty close to sewing lately. I actually have pulled the Ottobre mag out of the bookshelf to trace pant patterns for my pantless boy. My sweet 2 yr old owns exactly 1 pair of jeans and 1 pair of pajama pants which for the last 3 days I've been switching back and forth during the day. Laundry is also up there with gardening for me. I will give my husband credit for that, he will do loads and loads of laundry -- me, I'm happy to vacuum a floor or clean a toilet any day, but I'd rather just go buy new underwear as opposed to actually wash and fold the laundry.

Off to type a few reports and then I'm eating a birthday cupcake ALONE while playing Word Racer or Literati.

It's your Birthday, It's your Birthday!! WOOHOO!

Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday to You
You Look like a Monkey
And you Smell like one too!

Can you just see my enthusiasm? So it's 9:30 am and I haven't received one phone call wishing me a Happy 30th. Oh the f*ck well. I need new friends and relatives, lol.

Off to fix baby sausages for my 2 year old, he is obsessed with those things. I think if I let him, he would eat about 6 cans a day. I can't stand to look at 'em, smell 'em or touch 'em. Vienna sausages rank right up there with tomatos and mayonaise. These are the three foods in life, I don't want to touch.

We've got lots of fun, fun, fun today. Pick Em up from school and head to dance classes, then Mr E and me will be running to Wallyworld for a fun trip down the lightbulb aisle. And I think I have decided I'm buying myself a cake. I have a serious need for buttercream icing right now. Yum!! I plan to come home and eat a giant piece while watching tivo'd Heroes. And then I might be doing some online birthday shopping, I have been sucked in by late night infomercials - ie. Core Rhythms. For many years I was a skater and dancer and now I'm a lazy blob, so this looks like fun.

Blog Quiz Anyone??

Yeah I like the blog quizzes, fun in a stupid kinda way. You know you've always wanted to know what kind of bra you were. I found another one that just stimulates your brain; it's called "Name Your Boobs"! For some reason mine came up "Tom" and "Mickey" -- not sure what that means, but what the hell, Tom and Mickey wanted to pop up and say HI.

You Are a White Cotton Bra!

Practical, comfortable, and classic You want your man to feel relaxed and himself with you Your perfect guy is low maintenance and adaptable And he makes you feel comfy and cozy too!

What Kind of Bra Are You?

Can you tell I'm a little bored? I was hoping to wear my children out, so I took them to see the old Chuckster. Sunday night at 7:30 is a great time to go, it was us and two other tables in the entire place. But now I don't know what to do with myself. TV sucks right now. My sewing studio is calling me, it's a disaster from a certain 2 yr old who got into the thread and then decided to empty his entire piggy bank all over the floor. I'm avoiding it, or rather dreading it.

My MIL is coming this Friday, and my house is a pit from hell -- it's amazing what a dog and two children can do to a house in just six short days. We've had our house on the market for 6 months and the contracted ended last Sunday, and I have not lifted a finger once since then. So she's a neat freak who LOVES to clean, and I can A)clean like a madwoman before she gets here or B)let her do it for me because she loves to. I haven't decided which option I'm taking yet.

Turning 30, Barnyard the movie, and John Mayer's new album Continuum

Until I get my rear in gear on the sewing machine to show off my newest stuff, you'll have to be tortured by my weird posts for the time being.

I can't believe I'm turning 30 tomorrow. My husband is in Europe for another few weeks, so my parents took me and the kids to the Olive Garden on Saturday. Woohoo! And then I got the token birthday sing-a-long, which scared my poor 2 yr old under the table. I'm willing to take bets on if the husband even remembers my birthday and bothers to call.

I can't believe I'm turning 30, wasn't I just 16 last week? I still feel like the 16 yr old, does everybody feel like that? I wonder when I'm 80, if I'm still going to feel like the 16 yr old girl.

I bought myself a birthday present this weekend, since that's the only way I get them these days. I was checking out my current addiction,iTunes, and stumbled on John Mayer's new CD Continuum, it sounded really good, so I bought it. But the freaky thing is this song "Stop this Train". The words could have come from my own head. Some other goods one I like are "Vultures," "I Don't Trust Myself," and "Belief". And in conclusion of my review, I think this would be a great album to screw to, if I had anybody to screw.

My 7 yr old has been dying to see this movie, Barynard, The Original Party Animals. So we went the other day and left the 2 yr old with grandma because chasing him in a stadium seating movie theater in the dark is the right way to turn into a paraplegic.

We're watching the movie and I noticed something, maybe it's my expertise of cows from living in Texas, lol, as you know we Texans are experts in most farm animals, bullridin' and ropin'. Now there are cows, steers and bulls. Cows are the girl "cows" with udders -- aka "boobies" -- for the baby cows. Steers used to be bulls, but are now "fixed" to live amongst the cows as eunuchs. And then we have bulls, who still have their "parts" who sometimes live with the rest of the cows, unless they are really big assholes or like to do too much baby makin' and then are forced to live alone.


Now if you were paying close attention, you'll notice something, only the girl cows have udders! So why is it that Otis, the main character and all the boy cows have udders in this movie?

Other than that, it's a cute movie, really funny, though there is a scary scene for kidlets, when Otis's dad dies and a scene later in the movie where it looks like the same thing will happen to Otis.


And...if you go to the Barnyard website, there is a game called "Boy Tipping". It has a few levels, and is rather addicting. As a girl almost 30 yrs old (don't remind me) with two children, you do not want to know how many hours I've sat playing that game.

I'm being poked by a giant black labrador, so I must go as she just at her breakfast, and yes it's 4:30 pm, lol, so she is demanding I let her go eat the birds moving in on her territory in her yard. Ain't she a cutie? She's my tough dog, well she "thinks" she's tough anyway.

And one more thing, I just wanted to share....

I made this dress for a contest at a sewing expo, I didn't win, they were looking for the heirloom smocking kinda stuff, but it was fun making it. I had never made such a giganto dress before, and it's hugely poofy though it doesn't look like it in the pictures -- I couldn't find a good standing up picture, but it sticks out about 4-5 inches off her waist in all directions, lol. It has four layers of skirts. I designed it mostly from scratch, I did use the back of a basic bodice off of a dress pattern, but everything else is originally designed by me. I used one of my favorite Painting Red Rhinos fabrics, the mermaid print. Some guy up in PA has a warehouse that used to sell the PRR overruns of fabric and it was a huge deal to get the leftovers from previous seasons.

Anyway, all the prints come in a white background and are dyeable, so I dyed the mermaid twill and it's coordinate shell print in a gorgeous lilac color. I love how it came out and I paired with this beautiful glittery sparkle green print and a touch of pink trim.


The bodice is rouched and features little pink rosettes along the edges. The overlay skirt is gathered on the sides a little with drawstrings. Then there is a layer of green sparkle skirt with a ruffle and pink trim, then a 6 layer tulle skirt followed by a lining. The bodice is also lined and closes with a zipper in the back. I'm not quite sure when she'll wear it, Easter maybe? lol, but I love it and so does she.

Oh, did you notice she cut her hair? Yes I talked her into it, her hair had a lot of split ends and was perpetually tanlged all the time, clear up to her scalp, and she is such a tenderheaded thing. So I talked her into donating 11 inches of hair to Locks of Love.

So...I'm back

Okay I got lazy with blogging, lol. Plus I went back to work as a medical transcriptionist, though I do work from home, sewing has been on the back burner -- with working and being a SAHM and having my house for sale, sewing got left in the dust, lol. But it's time for fall/winter sewing -- ie., my son has no pants and it's cold in the mornings, lol. But I am recommitted! I'm determined to keep this blog updated at least on a weekly basis.

So I took a bit of a break for the whole internet. I do that every couple of years as I get too addicted, lol.

But I'm back blogging, and I'm back on eBay with my sewing patterns. I've been putting off my newest pattern for awhile, but it will be ready by the beginning of October. And soon, very soon, I will be trying to push my little pattern biz a little more. I'm in the middle of press release writing. I really want to move from consumer sales to wholesale/distributor sales.


And I have indoctrinated my daughter into the world of sewing. Grandma and Grandpa got her, her first sewing machine. She has been making little doll blankets and drawstring bags and I just got her her first pattern, I thought a fleece poncho would be pretty easy and first pattern. And she's been wanting a poncho forever. (Incidental note, this pic is her All Around Dancer trophy at the state dance competition. She won in the 5-6 yr olds category and they have to do four different dances - ballet, tap, jazz, and novelty to win. WOOHOO Emma!).

I'm gearing up for a bean bag sew-a-thon this weekend. So hopefully if it goes good, lol, my next blog with have pictures of the new bean bag chairs. My daughter's bean bag she received a couple years ago for her birthday is sadly dying, and my toddler is convinced it is his bean bag chair too, so I am making two to avoid any arguments, lol. I really want to make one of those "love sack" giant bean bag chair/sofa things, whatever they are called, lol. We found a $350 at Costco, but I see Simplicity has a pattern for one, I'm wondering how hard it is to make a giant version or how much the stuffing material cost - yikes!